


never knowingly making good calls

by anotherbuskitten



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, after avengers and before anything else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 10:45:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6281494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherbuskitten/pseuds/anotherbuskitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pre-hulkeye phonecalls</p>
            </blockquote>





	never knowingly making good calls

For the first time in a while – four or five years at the least – Bruce calls his family.

The phone rings two, three times before it’s picked up and Bruce feels some part of his ever-present rage mute as Jen speaks.

They talk for a few hours; mostly catching up but Bruce sits through many recriminations for waiting for an alien invasion to call as well.

After hanging up he feels safer, warmer, more at home in his skin than he has for a while. He even considers – briefly – visiting Betty. He knows he won’t as the risk of running into the General is too high and he has no need to seek out rage.

Instead he calls Clint Barton. Of all his teammates, Clint is the one he has the least connection with but he wants to learn more.

He didn’t think he really needed to, or had the right to worry about Clint either but here he was anyway.

Clint does pick up though, presumably because he was the only person left in the world without caller ID.

“America’s sixth favourite Avenger speaking.” Clint says mournfully.

“At least you’re counted as an Avenger.” Bruce says cheerfully.

“Ah! Banner! I thought you were someone else.”

“Are you expecting a call?”

“Not really, it’s just that no one really uses this number except Nat.”

Bruce snorts, “I suppose that’s probably a good thing if you answer all your calls like that.”

“I have had a few confused telemarketers,” Clint laughs, “Why are you calling me?”

“No reason really, I just felt like it.”

“You’re not expecting me to talk science are you? Because I’m the single worst replacement for Stark out there.”

“I have other interests you know.” Bruce decides that he would temporarily shelve the issue of replacement insecurities for a later date.

“Yeah? Name three.”

Bruce snorts into his receiver. “Ok. Um. I guess I should say fighting crime.”

“Wow you’re doing well. So you’ve got your _job_ , now two more.”

“I prefer to think of my research as my job. The other guy fights crime.”

“That’s why he’s America’s fourth favourite Avenger.”

“Fourth, really?”

“There’s a very large amount of people out there who think Nat’s a traitor or a token woman. Also, Thor only narrowly beats you because of the amount of people who think he’s going to abduct them.”

“Do you…spend a lot of time looking at Avenger conspiracy websites?”

“Yep. They’re hilarious and only slightly depressing.”

“What’s your favourite one?”

“Uh…maybe a tie between Steve actually being Abraham Lincoln and Thor being proof of God. That’s the Christian one by the way, nothing Viking about it. And you still need two more interests; you’re not getting out of this.”

“Bad sci-fi films and spicy food. How many people think Thor’s Jesus?”

“Food isn’t a hobby Banner, it’s a necessity. And less than the amount who think he’s Elvis.”

“Heathen.”

“Me or the people praying to Thorvis?”

Bruce bursts out laughing and resolves to try and talk to Clint way more often.

/

Clint had not expected Bruce to ever call him but he had really enjoyed their short conversation. And he wanted more of it.

Luckily he had a feeling this would be easy enough to arrange without having to actually ask. This plan relied on two things which were already happening: number one, Clint’s diet continuing to consist of coffee and pizza and number two, Bruce continuing to worry about his friends.

Understandably, Clint felt this could not misfire on him.

Understandably, it did.

The anthropomorphic Russian hoodies that hung out near his apartment with whom he’d got into more than a few fights with had paid more attention to him than seemed sensible.

He’d started to order more pizzas than usual and while Bruce hadn’t been monitoring his deliveries the hoodies had and they had come up with a simple and surprisingly subtle plan.

They mugged the delivery guy and slipped poison in his food.

Yeah, Nat and Stark were never going to stop mocking him for this.

On the plus side it did technically advance his plan to talk with Bruce more as in an unprecedented sneaky move Banner suggested banning him from pizza during the same time Fury – Fury! – visited him.

So, yes, all in all Clint could admit it might just have been easier to google bad sci-fi films and invite Bruce over to chill.


End file.
